


Stripes

by supercanaries



Category: Glee
Genre: Army AU, M/M, Past Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-31
Updated: 2013-12-31
Packaged: 2018-01-06 22:14:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1112130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supercanaries/pseuds/supercanaries
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The summer before college, Blaine's heart is still torn from the way Kurt and he decided to break up. He followed Cooper's advice and tried out for military training; what he doesn't know yet is that this experience is going to distract him a lot more than he expected. Especially, when a green-eyed and blond-haired boy is involved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [beerpong](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=beerpong).



> This work was written on a prompt left in my ask. The prompter asked me for some military training that wasn't too serious and didn't involve too much angst, so here we go. Before you read, just check on these notes.  
> I'm Italian, and even though I try my best not to make any mistakes, English is not my language, so forgive me whenever I don't manage to work it out as I would want to. I guess the build up is going to be quite slow, so if you're not patient, this isn't the right story for you. I've already posted this elsewhere, but since I'm going to update tonight, here's the prologue. Hope you'll like it! - xoxo

“Blainers!” He can hear Cooper’s voice along the stairs, which means he’s coming upstairs for him. Blaine giggles lightly at that, even though he knows Cooper is probably coming here just to bother him. “Blaineyyyy!”

His voice peals around the house, as Blaine is bending his shirts on the bed, so that he can see all of them and choose which ones he is going to bring to survive the following months. He has no idea how he’s got in the military training, considering how short he is; he’s in for a few inches he supposes. He feels happy and hopeful, because Cooper has told him about his personal experience many times and it sounded amazing to him.

He always talks about the friends he’s made during training and how he’s still friends with the guys even though it’s been years. Then Blaine decided to give it a chance, to try that on his own skin (it took him a lot to make up his mind because he didn’t want to see Cooper’s satisfied grin at the fact that he had actually considered his idea). 

When Cooper walks in, Blaine is grabbing at a short-sleeved white t-shirt, the one she always uses when it’s too hot. It’s probably going to be the only alternative to tight sweaters and bowties, because he’s never been able to choose between them – if his trips with Cooper along the years prove anything, in the end, he always carries weird outfits, like dark jeans and yellow pants, red laced bowtie or the pink interlaced one (it’s stronger than him, he just loves all his bow-ties, they’re like … his babies, he can’t choose which ones to leave home).

“Oh my God, your wardrobe is awful, lil’ brother.” Cooper looks at the bed with surprise printed over the features of his face, like he can’t believe what he sees. “That’s why you never hook up-”

“Coop, Kurt and I broke up last week.” Blaine notices but Cooper just shrugs.

“Then you should already have had at least seven hook-ups.” He replies easily.

Blaine’s eyes go wide open and then he rolls them, grabbing the light blue bow-tie his ex-boyfriend bought him. He turns it between his fingers, he thinks about it. There are so many memories connected to these objects, and even though it hurts every time Blaine thinks about it – that it’s over now, that they don’t exist anymore as a couple – he never manages to throw them away. It’s like he would throw away a part of himself too, even if it’s a painful one to keep.

“You know that’s not how it works for me, Coop …” He sighs, a little lost in the memories, answering automatically, like he hasn’t even realized he is speaking.

He notices he has though because Cooper isn’t speaking instead – which is unusual – and he is also walking towards him.

“You’re weird.” Cooper says and Blaine grins a little, shaking his head. “A lot weird if one considers your age.”

“You are the one who’s weird for his age.” Blaine answers, lifting his head to look at him.

Cooper nods knowingly and his awkward face makes Blaine laugh, like every single time.

“Let’s say we should exchange our ages.” He says, laughing and stepping closer to wrap an arm around Blaine’s shoulder. “Even though I was like this when I was younger too, so it wouldn’t be equal.”

“I don’t think so.” Blaine answers, hitting his hip playfully with his own and lifting his chin towards him. “Because I’m going to be like this when I’ll be older too.”

“That’s wise.” Cooper nods towards the clothes on the bed. “How many things are you taking away?” He asks, lifting an eyebrow and looking at all the shirts and jeans and bowties as he can’t believe what he’s seeing. “You’re not leaving for a holiday, Blainers.”

“I know.” Blaine says as if he’s afraid that Cooper might really think that. “It’s just … there are so many and I really can’t choose.”

“I wonder how I’ve managed to stand trips with you, seriously.” Cooper lets the arm drop from his brother’s shoulders. “I would want to meet the part of myself that survives your tortures to compliment it about how patient it is.” He walks around the bed, arms crossed to his chest as he studies all the outfits Blaine has put together.

“I’m the one who’s patient here.” Blaine says, rolling his eyes and putting his hands on his hips. “When we travel, you never go to sleep until it’s at least 3 am, you’re so stressing!” He complains but Cooper just wrinkles his lips.

“I’m funny.” He says serious. “I’m sorry if a funny guy is easier to stand than a boring guy.”

“Are you implying that I’m boring?” Blaine asks, lifting both of his eyebrows.

He’s surprised but not too much. There are times in which he himself thinks he’s boring and he wonders how his friends and relatives can stand his monotony. Hearing that from Cooper though, it’s completely different. Probably whoever said that would make it painful eventually. He doesn’t want people to think he is boring, but that’s who he is and he doesn’t want to change that either. Also, he feels like it’s generally wrong to change yourself to make it easier for people to like you.

When he comes back to reality after these thoughts and looks into his brother’s blue eyes, he can see that he’s sorry and that he didn’t mean it.

“No, of course not.” He says, trying to transform his grimace into a warm smile, to sound more natural. He sees that it’s not working and Blaine seems more nervous, so he just shows him a light grin instead. “It’s not my fault if anyone would look boring while being in the same room as I am, don’t you think?”

It works enough to have Blaine smiling bright: if there’s one thing he loves about Cooper is the stupid way he manages to repair the damages he does with his mouth. It’s almost shocking that he succeeds so easily at that. 

“Oh right.” Blaine shrugs while he stares at Cooper as he’s grabbing a yellow bow-tie to roll it into his hands in disbelief. It’s actually yellow with black dots. “I hadn’t considered the comparison; being in the same room as you now, it totally makes sense that I seem to be boring.”

Cooper’s gaze connects with his but his eyebrows are lifted: he’s probably already forgotten about his own words and he’s just thinking about the thing in his hands. Blaine doesn’t think it’s too weird. He has seen clothes and accessories that were worse than that and … okay, maybe he should admit it is a little too much and it makes him wonder about his own tastes too. Not to mention Cooper, who doesn’t usually understand his style anyway.

“Did you feel like a bug that day?” He asks, like he can’t believe what he’s holding in his hands. “Seriously, Blainey, where’ your bee costume?” He adds and Blaine wrinkles his lips a little, like he’s already wondering about his own taste in fashion.

“It looked cute …” He murmurs, but now that he’s seeing it better, he’s not sure about it anymore.

“You know what would be good for you?” Cooper asks and he shakes his head, but he’s still staring at the bowtie in his hands. “A makeover.”

“No way.” Blaine answers immediately. “I love the way I dress, you won’t convince me with one bowtie. It’s just one wrong choice over one thousand, you know?”

Cooper lifts an eyebrow, like he wants Blaine to think about what he is saying. Blaine doesn’t want to let Cooper have some influence on him. He is always so good at it …

“Okay, at least just tell me what were you thinking?” He murmurs, crossing his arms to his chest, before he adds: “I won’t change my mind. Myself suits me better than whoever you want me to be, Coop.”

“You’ll still be yourself though.” Cooper answers, rolling his eyes as he stares at Blaine across the bed. “The clothes change, not the adorable puppy wearing them.”

“If it doesn’t make me less insecure, Coop,” Blaine replies, wincing when he realizes he just came out of the insecurity closet, “What’s the point in this?”

“The point …” Cooper starts and he walks around the bed, “the point is that you’re going to leave soon for a military training,” he notices, “which means, you’re practically going to be surrounded by dozens of boys all day.”

He doesn’t add anything, so Blaine lifts his eyebrows and winces.

“What is that supposed to mean?” He asks unsure, while he replays the words into his head. He realizes it soon enough though. “Oh, no way. It’s the army. They’re probably just homophobic Republicans.”

Cooper laughs, but his laugh sounds knowing.

“Oh believe me, that’s not it, Blainey.” He says ironically, shrugging and walking towards him. “You’re naïve. When I was in the army, I had to tell hundreds of boys that I wasn’t going to buy what they wanted to sell me.” He explains and Blaine looks spontaneously surprised.

“I’m sure that hundreds is just you exaggerating as usual …” He mumbles, tightening his arms to his chest now, defensively.

“Maybe.” Cooper allows, but he tilts his head. “But I swear it to you, that happens in the army.” He says, slapping his shoulder playfully now that he’s closer. “Hey, I thought you knew that you gay guys are practically anywhere one turns now. A lot of people are really lighter about accepting their own sexuality nowadays.”

Blaine thinks about complaining for a moment, and then he’s forced to admit that his brother is right: since he isn’t in high school anymore, he has been facing this truth face to face; he knows there are lots of boys who aren’t too worried about hitting on him openly, but he wasn’t expecting it to happen in the army. Cooper is opening a brand new world to his eyes, but he doesn’t know how positive that actually is.

Maybe it just makes everything more complicated.

“So, you’re telling me I should get into the army to hook-up?” He asks, looking like he can’t believe his words. “That’s gross, Coop.”

“It’s not.” Cooper groans and he’s giving him that face he always gives him, that Live a little face Blaine is starting to hate. He tries to ignore it: he is living his life, he’s fine like this and he doesn’t really need Cooper to tell him what to do with his time.

“It is.” He replies then, lifting his chin a little, like he wants to show that he is proud about what he is saying. “Listen, Coop, I don’t want to go there to hook-up,” he explains, “if I wanted to do just that, I’ll be heading to a gay bar.”

“Of course.” Cooper agrees immediately. “I’m not saying that hooking-up in the army has to be your aim; I just meant that if it casually happened, you should take a ride.”

Blaine winces a little at the words, “I’m pretty sure it’s banned anyway.” He makes him notice, searching for a better reason not to. “I don’t really feel like been kicked out for a one night stand or something.”

“Oh, no one’s going to find out.” Cooper rolls his eyes. “I’ve seen like bunches of guys doing that and no one ever caught them.” 

“I wonder, were you on a military installation or cells for gay porn?” Blaine asks, blushing a little and muttering softly.

Cooper sighs, lifting his eyebrows and rolling his eyes to ceiling.

“Do I have to remind you that I’ve read your comments about masturbation on that forum, Blainers?” He notices, like he hasn’t already done that dozens of times. “Just don’t be rude to your daily material. Gay porn might get offended.”

“I wasn’t … despising porn.” Blaine replies, his voice low and shy. “I’ve just said that the army isn’t the right place to find your candidates.” He says sarcastically, rolling his eyes, but he can’t help but flushing darker at the thought that apparently his brother knows about his … passions.

“Well, I see it differently, but that’s not the point.” Cooper slaps his shoulder playfully. “The point is, I didn’t say you’re going to go there for that, but if it happens, it would be good that you took advantage of it.” He says and Blaine looks annoyed anyway.

In his head, he still thinks that if he wanted something like that, all he had to do was going to a gay bar. He’s pretty attractive, he knows, so there’s no chance he is going to doubt about his own charm. What he doubts though, is that fucking around might be what he needs now; knowing Cooper, there’s a fair chance that he thinks Blaine is going to find the love of his life like that. 

“I’m not really the kind of guy who takes advantage.” He answers then, nodding towards the door. “The reason why I’m doing this is right because I was searching for something that could keep me busy for hours.” He says, sighing. “Now, just let me get my stuff ready; there are some people who like the way I dress and it kind of works as a gay magnet.”

“If you say so.” Cooper answers, shrugging lightly. “I honestly don’t understand what the problem is. I just wanted to help.” He says, starting to pout with his blue eyes like he always does when he wants Blaine to feel guilty. “Why are you acting like this on me when I only wanted to be helpful?” He murmurs and Blaine rolls his eyes.

“Seriously, Coop?” He asks, nodding at the mess of clothes on his bed. “I really have a whole hell to clean and put in the bag, and you’re just making me waste my time.”

Cooper looks at him in disbelief, like he can’t believe Blaine is actually telling him to leave him alone. Blaine hates that his weakness is so evident to Cooper’s pout. He is the little brother between them, so it should probably be the opposite, while Cooper is quite good to take advantage of Blaine’s softer side.

“C’mon, why don’t we go out?” Cooper asks immediately, as soon as he notices that Blaine is giving up already. “It’s one of the last night we get to spend together here. We can go and have dinner in a fast food.” He wrinkles his lips in a lovely pout. “Who knows when you’re going to eat junk food gain once you’re gone …”

“I don’t like junk food …” Blaine complains, blinking in disbelief. “I’ve never like it. I can’t seriously understand why I’m supposed to eat it now!”

“To make your big brother happy?” Cooper asks, sounding way too ridiculous to be real. “I think it’s a pretty good reason to do anything, don’t you think?” He blinks, trying to look adorable and somehow succeeding.

“It’s not.” Blaine complains, but he’s already giving up a bit now, so he eventually sighs. “Can’t we just do something different?” He asks, giving it one last try. “I really don’t feel like eating junk food, and-” 

“You have to.” Cooper cuts him, almost pleading. “Please, before you go, just eat junk food with me once and I swear I’ll leave you alone …”

It’s sweet and fond enough, especially that Before you go, because it suddenly makes it more real. They’re going to spend weeks apart and it’s going to be a while before he can see Cooper again. Then he rolls his eyes and gives up, eventually.

“Okay, Coop, that’s fine.” He says and sees as he rejoices.

“That’s amazing!” He screams, making his voice resound through the entire house. “I promise, Blaine, it’s going to be the best night the Anderson family even had and-”

“It’s just junk food.” Blaine sighs.

“I know, but it’s going to be awesome junk food!” He exclaims, jumping around the room and Blaine can’t help but seriously wonder who the big brother is here. One wouldn’t tell. “You’re going to overeat dozens of fries and hamburgers covered in the most calorific sauces; it’s going to be freaking amazing!”

“Why do you even want to see me throw up? That’s the last thing you want to remember about me before I leave?” He asks, wincing.

“It won’t be like that, I swear.” Cooper murmurs, but Blaine doesn’t believe him.

“If you say so.” He sighs, worried about his stomach.

/

A few hours later, they’re both ready and Blaine isn’t really surprise. Cooper had to wait for him because he’s washed and dressed up in a moment; when he is anxious to do something, he’s ready in a blink of an eye. It’s like Superman when he changes of clothes.

They’re in Cooper’s car because he claimed he wanted to take it out for the occasion, since the car is going to miss Blaine too.

They spend the drive singing songs on the radio and they barely talk to each other because they know they’ve got all night to do so. From Blaine’s perspective, it’s already too much that he’ll have to go through Cooper’s chatting during dinner; at least he wants to avoid that in the car. He loves Cooper, so much, but he also knows how good he is at exaggerating. Nights out with him are always traumatic, and this will be no different especially if it is the last one they spend together before Blaine leaves.

There’s a sound playing in the background, an old one by Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Road Trippin’, and it seems like it’s able to turn their small trip into a voyage around the world somehow. It’s a soft amazing moment, not only because Cooper is silent, but because they’re together. Sometimes it’s a little creepy with how much he loves Cooper, but he can’t hold the feeling and doesn’t want to; until they’re like this, it can only be cool.

They get to the fast food eventually and Blaine is already sighing at the sight while Cooper parks the car; he is actually trying to make his stomach ready for the upcoming torture.

“I’m not psychologically ready to go through whatever you’re going to make me eat.” He complains and Cooper can’t help but laugh.

“You aren’t even physically ready to go through it.” He says and Blaine sighs again while they pull their safety belts off and get out of the car.

They walk together through the park, pushing and play as always. The tension has already disappeared as usual and then Blaine decides he can make the effort of eating that junk for one night. Who knows when they’ll be able to go out together again, right?

They enter the place and there’s a long line at the counter, so Blaine rolls his eyes a little at him. Cooper wraps an arm around his shoulders to pull him closer and talk to his right ear. 

“Go and take a seat, I’m going to pick what we’re eating …” He threatens and Blaine nods, shaking Cooper off of him. Cooper just laughs while he walks to counter and stands waiting.

Blaine leans a little over on his toes – which is ridiculous, but it’s not his fault if he was born short, nothing like Cooper – and he searches with his gaze until he finds an isolated table that seems okay with him. He hates people staring at him while he eats, not to mention while he’s eating something he’s always hated.

He moves closer then, sitting on the bench pressed in the wall and starting to look towards the line. Cooper turns around and winks, making him shake his head. He always acts like he’s the coolest guy on earth; and Blaine is just a little jealous of his self-confidence, since he doesn’t always manage to be just like that.

He smiles a little to himself and he’s so lost in his thoughts that he doesn’t even realize someone is sitting beside him.

“What are you doing here?” A familiar voice asks, making him startle and sending little sparkles along his spine. Blaine turns and he’s right there. Kurt is right beside him.

He swallows because they broke up a week ago and he isn’t ready for this. He isn’t ready to easily chat with him; he isn’t ready for anything that has to do with Kurt.

“He-hey …” He murmurs, he stumbles stupidly between his words, feeling an idiot for stuttering so easily. He hates himself for sitting beside the wall because there’s no way to escape.

Congratulations, Blaine, he thinks to himself, as ridiculous as you could get.

He tries to cough and clear his voice, so that he can answer at least. He wasn’t ready to break apart when it was over, how can he be ready to face it all like this now?

“Hi, Kurt.” He turns to him, trying to pretend he’s calmer, and it sounds so believable that the best actors in the world would envy him. That’s probably because acting is for survival now. “I’m … I’m out with Coop, that’s all.”

“Oh …” Kurt says and he looks really calm and spontaneously happy to see him. “It’s just that you’ve never eaten junk food.”

“That’s exactly what I said to him.” Blaine answers, giggling nervously. “But that idiot likes it, so …”

“So you’re supporting him.” Kurt says and Blaine feels like dying. All he wants to do is to let Kurt hold him in his arms, kiss his forehead but they can’t do that. Kurt has always been okay with being friends after a relationship, but it’s so hard for Blaine instead.

“Yeah, he cares about doing these things before I leave for military training.” He answers a little vaguely, because Kurt already knows about it. He’s known for longer than Cooper since they used to tell everything to each other when they were dating (it’s stupid of him to think about it now, about the little things they shared, but they’ve dated for so long that Blaine can’t keep it; it’s his instinct).

“I see.” Kurt replies and he seems a little embarrassed too now. Why has he sat beside him even? “I’ve got to leave for New York …”

“Yeah, I know.” Blaine breathes in deeply, trying not to show that too much. “This doesn’t really explain why you are here though, it’s junk food …” He looks into Kurt’s amazing blue eyes but he tries to smile.

“Hmm, yeah.” Kurt shrugs a little. “It’s just that …” He murmurs but he doesn’t end the sentence and he looks away from Blaine, turning his gaze to a table in front of Blaine’s one casually.

Blaine knows something is coming, so he tries to avoid it.

“You don’t really have to explain it to me.” He says smiling, but he’s shaking inside, knowing what Kurt might tell him, he isn’t ready to listen to those words. “Seriously, don’t worry about it, Kurt-”

“I’m out on a date.” It goes straight to Blaine’s heart.

He tries to block the immediate sense of pain and jealousy that comes with it, but he can’t help but feeling hurt. He thought Kurt had considered breaking up because he had to leave, but does it make any sense if he’s found himself another Ohio boyfriend? It makes him feel like an idiot, like he didn’t understand that they broke up for some other reason he doesn’t know, and he’s been so stupid to believe such a silly excuse for them to part.

“Hmm, fine.” Blaine answers, breathing and trying not to show him any of the anxieties he’s feeling inside. He smiles and sees that Kurt is looking at that smile. “It’s fine by me; we decided that we could date other people.” He asks, but it hurts so much because it hasn’t been a week either and Kurt is already dating another guy.

Is there a way to not feel like shit in such a situation? Because Blaine isn’t sure he can stop feeling hurt if he finds out he got ditched for reasons he doesn’t know, of even for someone else, which is even worse.

“Oh.” Kurt answers, lifting his gaze to Blaine and grinning. “Thank GaGa, I thought you were going to hate me for that.” He looks at him happily and Blaine can’t help it. When Kurt looks at him like this, Blaine can’t hold that feeling of joy that fills him, no matter what.

He wants to yell against Kurt that it’s been less than ten days and he’s already going out with someone else, but all he can do is just leaning towards him and whispers, “Congrats.” 

He stares as Kurt arches his eyebrows a little, like he doesn’t know if Blaine is honest or he’s making fun of him. Blaine doesn’t know either, he has no idea how it came out of his mouth or if it sounded sarcastic, but wondering about it is just useless. Kurt is dating another guy. His Kurt is dating another guy.

“Well, thanks.” He murmurs, sounding totally unsure. “So you’re really going …” He whispers and Blaine sighs a little. If Kurt is dating someone, why the hell does he need to make this sound like they’re breaking up again? 

Blaine isn’t sure he’s going to recover soon from the first break-up, he surely can’t stand another one (it doesn’t matter that the fact that he’s dating someone else hurts him, this is still Kurt and Blaine finds it hard not to cry when it comes to them and everything they were to each other).

“Yeah.” Blaine answers softly, wearing a smile. Kurt is so close, so handsome …

“I hope you’re happy, Blaine.” He says sincerely and just the thought of it makes Blaine understand that there’s no way they’re going to share a future, like ever (when Blaine thought they were going to deal with his maturely if they met again), and it’s hurting him deadly.

Why the hell did he even say yes to Cooper about tonight? Of course, because he thought that was the only place where he wouldn’t have met Kurt, and there he is. His new boyfriend probably likes eating junk food and … well, Blaine doesn’t even want to know who he is.

No, okay, he wants to.

He’s dying to know who the hell managed to take Kurt out to eat junk food when they broke up not even ten days ago.

“I hope you’re happy too.” He forces anyway, trying not to wince as he does. “I’ll miss you, a lot.” He wants to add during these months, but there’s a part of him that is wondering if this is over forever instead, with them not even being friends. “You were an amazing friend to me.”

“You too.” Kurt answers immediately, with an honest smile, so that Blaine can’t doubt these words at least. “Write when you feel like it.” He adds, shrugging a little. “I’d like to know how the training will be going. I’m sure you’ll look hot in your uniform.”

Blaine laughs and he blushes a little, but inside his head, he is begging Kurt to stop this, to stop keeping him hanging. Blaine wants him to close all the doors, so that he doesn’t even feel that little sensation he can’t pull away even if he tries. He doesn’t want to get trapped into what he and Kurt had for the rest of his life.

“Well, yeah, how would your boyfriend look in his uniform?” He asks then, trying not to make it sound sharp just because he wants Kurt to tell him that he’d look better than Blaine, anything that could make Blaine hate him and stop feeling anything for him.

“He would look good and …” Kurt stops immediately and gives him an awkward look. “He’s not my boyfriend!” He corrects and when Blaine looks up to the line at the counter, he sees that Cooper is coming back. Thank God.

“Hmm, okay.” That sounds sharp, as he turns towards Kurt. “I thought that … since you managed to find a date in less than a week, maybe you have been each other for longer or …” It hurts to just think that.

“Blaine, don’t be like this.” Kurt answers, tightening his shoulders. “I wouldn’t have cheated on you.”

And here it comes.

He sounds so sincere and honest that Blaine can’t even doubt for a moment these words and he finds himself sighing in relief instead. He wouldn’t stand the idea of Kurt cheating on him when they looked so in love with each other.

“Hey Kurt!” Cooper is walking closer to them, with a tray in his hands.

Kurt looks up and he smiles immediately.

Cooper loves Kurt and Kurt loves him back. No matter what happens, it’s something Blaine can’t change.

“Hey Coop.” Kurt murmurs happily and Cooper nods as he sits. In a moment, Kurt stands up and gives them and half-bow. “I’ve got to go. I’m glad that we’ve met in here.”

“Same here.” Blaine replies and then watches as Kurt walks away.

He looks down at the table immediately because he doesn’t want to gaze around, he wants to resist the temptation of finding out who Kurt’s date is. The most important thing is that Kurt erased him in less than ten days, the details won’t matter.

“Everything okay?” Cooper asks because he knows that Blaine is still hurt, so he hopes he’ll find another boy as soon as possible. “You look tense …” He pretends there’s some other reason why he asked and Blaine is so thankful for that because lying is going to be easier.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He answers and Cooper hands him his hot dog then. 

Blaine’s next thoughts fly to his upcoming training. Right now, Blaine is sort of happy that he made this choice. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t know how not to think about how Kurt easily erased him from his life like he was just a picture on the wall or worse, on his phone.

The fact that he’s going to stay away from Lima, that he isn’t going to New York, all of this is going to help him forget how apparently easy it was for Kurt to click on the delete button.

He’s going to feel better about this.


	2. Chapter 1

Saying goodbye to his family wasn’t easy. 

It’s not like his father has ever looked at him more proudly than he does today, and well, that makes Blaine’s heart ache. Somehow, he always knew Coop is his favorite son - probably because he’s straight – but the fact that his dad looks proud of him just because Blaine has decided to do something Cooper had already done (like he thinks that it might make him become as straight as his older brother is) hurts deadly. He’s always been very aware of what his dad thought, even though his dad tried to hide it as much as he could. It’s not something you can control easily. 

Luckily for him, there’s Cooper.

He joked and made fun of him fondly at the station too, even when the train arrived. When Blaine couldn’t delay it anymore and was about to jump on the train, Cooper grabbed his wrist and pulled him closer to hug him tightly and whisper affectionately into his ear about how he was going to miss his ‘lil’ brother’ because he wouldn’t have anybody to make fun of. Blaine just laughed into his arms and choked against his chest. He is going to miss his brother.

When he jumped on the train too, he called his mom. She greeted him from Maryland, which was a pleasant surprise to Blaine. It wasn’t that much of a surprise instead when she told him about her new man and that she had moved there to live with him. Blaine smiles bitterly. He accepted his parents’ decisions, and yet sometimes he just wanted to see them together again. But he acted supportively towards her. He could never hate on his parents or treat them differently because of what happened. 

But the hardest and easiest part at the same time was saying goodbye to Lima.

He knows he’s going to be far for months and although the break-up is now realer to him, it’s still too soon to stand being apart from Kurt physically. They were far somehow already, because they haven’t seen each other since the break-up (apart from the fast food meeting which is just a hurtful event Blaine wants to remove), but being in a complete different State from the person he has loved for so long (and sadly loves still) breaks him into a thousand pieces. Everytime he thinks about it, it gets freaking hard to keep the tears from streaming. 

He wonders if it’s the same for Kurt. He knows he’s probably already dating someone else (what if he started seeing this person when they were still together?), but considering what they’ve been through as a couple, it isn’t really that hard to believe that Kurt might feel a little hurt too, is it? Maybe he doesn’t feel as lonely as Blaine, but there’s still a chance that when the summer will be over, and his training will be over too, they could meet each other as more mature people and deal with a more serious relationship, right? 

But at the same time, the mature side of him is exactly the one which is telling him that hanging up to dreamy high-school relationships is the stupidest thing a boy like him could do. He is going to miss Kurt and no matter how little the love Kurt might have felt for him in order to decide to end things between them, Blaine knows that Kurt is going to miss him at least as a friend. He doesn’t know if this warms his heart of just makes everything bitterer though.

So many different views have already passed in front of his eyes as he keeps the side of his head pressed onto the cold glass of the train. His eyes are now tired for how much he had to try to keep himself from crying and his chest feels heavy with the acknowledge that he won’t come home until Thanksgiving. He regrets that he hasn’t chosen a faster train, but he thought he could use some sleep after the way Coop has been stressing his brain in the last few days. By now, he just wants some bed to sneak into. 

He lets his mind relax a little, tries to think to something different that might distract him. He starts repeating all of Katy Perry’s song lyrics in his head, from track to track, in the album order. It’s relaxing and makes him smile happily while he is drifting to the land of dreams. 

That is until he hears a voice.

“Hey, dude.” Someone murmurs beside him.

For a few seconds, Blaine just thinks he’s not even talking to him, but then something presses softly on his shoulder and tugs him until he’s shaking unpleasantly into his seat. He moans, a little frustrated, because he was right about to fall asleep. Eventually, he decides that he’s not going to let his nerves break on the first day. He is going to be calm and gentle, so he just opens his eyes and lifts his gaze to look at the boy who’s tugging him.

And then, he thinks he fell asleep and maybe this is just a dream, because the boy standing in front of him, in the hallway of the train can’t be real.

He’s tall and muscled – it’s evident even through the material of his thin multicolored t-shirt -, leaning clumsily towards him in a posture that practically screams total nerd and his arm bent over the back of the empty seat beside Blaine’s. His skin is quite pale and he must be some model or gym addicted for what Blaine can see of his collarbone.

He’s got blond hair and green eyes that are now staring into Blaine’s like he’s checking that Blaine is actually awake. For a moment, Blaine looks down at his lips. It’s not because he wants too, but woah, they’re huge and it’s practically impossible not to notice them. They’re also a bit darker and more flushed than just pink, which is somehow appealing.

Before he realizes it, Blaine is already biting his lower lip and blushing, giggling nervously for a moment before he manages to actually speak.

“I’m huh … I’m sorry, I was falling asleep and-”

“Did I wake you up?” The boy asks and Blaine shakes his head.

It’s not because he didn’t of course, but because he is too hot to care. For a moment he thinks about Cooper’s words and his hypothetical gay army. Well, he can’t be lucky enough for this guy to be gay of course.

“No, hmm, don’t worry about it.” He says and the guy winces like he knows he did wake him up. “I can survive it.”

The huge mouth of the boy opens until he blinds Blaine with his perfect white smile, and seriously, who is this guy? Mr. Sunshine? Well, he totally might call him Sunshine by now.

“I’m sorry anyway,” the boy says and then he’s leaning a hand towards Blaine, “I’m Sam Evans, dude, what’s your name?”

Well, being called dude is sort of awkward. He had his friends before high school of course but they didn’t call him that. When he went to McKinley, things weren’t different. He was mostly friend to Kurt, Rachel and Tike and well, they don’t talk like this. 

Also, he has to admit that Sam is such a cute name. It suits the boy so good that it’s almost immediately hard for Blaine to believe that he didn’t know his name until a few seconds ago.

“Blaine.” He says, and he isn’t even a little aware of the puppy face he is giving to Sam while he takes his hand and shakes it. Not even a bit.

“Just Blaine?” Sam asks jokingly.

“Blaine Anderson.” Blaine says then, chewing his mouth with embarrassment and pulling his hand back from the tight comfortable hold of Sam’s fingers.

“Anderson,” He jokes, “When are you going to score your next hat-trick? UEFA Champions League?” 

Blaine arches his eyebrows for a few moments, “Excuse me?”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” He says, wincing a little. “Sometimes I forget not everybody is a soccer fan.”

“I prefer football.” Blaine answers, pressing his lips together.

“We can’t be friends then.” Sam jokes and then he is sitting beside him nonchalantly, sighing and leaning into the seat peacefully. “Sorry if I’m invading your space. My friends are just so noisy and I need some sleep.”

“Well, I think this one is free,” Blaine says shrugging, suddenly feeling enthusiastic at the idea of this gorgeous boy sleeping beside him. Maybe he can allow himself to be a creep about it and stare while Sam is asleep. 

“I figured it out.” Sam says and he turns his head to look at him with a weak smile on his face.

Blaine thinks he’s probably going to die.

Seriously, he’s sure this guy must be some sort of famous actor, because his face, his voice, his everything seems like it was done to be on screen so that anyone can admire his beauty. This is not the trip on train that he was planning on, but since he has no idea when this gorgeous guy is going to go away, he thinks that he might take advantage of this situation for now and just enjoy his presence.

“So, why don’t you talk to me about soccer then?” He asks, pressing his lips together a moment later because, hello, the guy said he wanted to sleep and Blaine is already bothering him, probably even more than his friends were doing.

And yet, there must be something this boy really loves about soccer because his green eyes seem to light up in a moment, shining in a new glint while his huge mouth blinds Blaine with the most beautiful smile ever.

“Are you serious, dude?” He asks, adorably enthusiastic. “I’m sure you can be converted to soccer if I try hard enough. That would be cool, like-” he stops for a moment, looking down thoughtfully, “Though I’m not sure where you’re heading, so it would be useless to make you a soccer fan if we’d never see each other again.”

“I’m joining an installation in Texas, army stuff,” Blaine murmurs softly, like he’s unsure he wants to say it out loud, “So, yeah, I suppose you just have the trip to explain everything I’m supposed to know about soccer.” He tries to joke but Sam seems happy all of a sudden and Blaine barely has the time to wonder about it before the boy is speaking again.

“Wow, that’s awesome!” He says, spreading his arms in the air, “I think we’re heading in the same direction.”

Blaine’s jaw practically drops and it’s so, so hard not to think about all Cooper’s talks about sex in the army because it would pretty inappropriate right now. It’s not like this guy is gay, so there’s probably not a change of having him falling in love with him just because he seems so kind.

“That’s … amazing!” Blaine shrieks a little, unable to contain his enthusiasm because hey, at least he’ll be able to look at this gorgeous face some more. “I mean, I’m from Lima. Where did you take the train?” He asks, since he has no idea about the whole route.

“Westerville!” Sam answers quite proudly, showing him a bright smile at the thought that obviously they’re both from Ohio. Blaine winces a little because he could have occasionally met him before, maybe during high school (there’s a sad tickle under his chest while he thinks it though, since high school was where Kurt and he found love and grew up together somehow; it’s heartbreaking).

“Oh, you’re from Westerville,” he presses his lips together, pondering, “I kind of wanted to go to school there, but I changed my mind eventually.”

“Really?” Sam asks, spontaneously enjoying the conversation – at least Blaine hopes so. 

“Yeah, I was heading to Dalton but then … I just changed my mind and went to school to Lima.” He says, cutting himself on the explanation because he doesn’t feel like talking about his family’s economic issues.

“Dalton?” The boy asks, even more surprised than he already looked. “I can’t believe this, dude! Do you mean Dalton Academy?”

Blaine blinks and his jaw drops again. It looks like fate has laid a hand of something. 

“Yeah, that, did you-”

“Yes!!” Sam says enthusiastically. “I went there! Woah, we could have been high school bros!”

Blaine smiles hugely because this guy is so spontaneous that he seems even more enthusiastic than him. Though he has to admit that he’s considering for a moment how his teen life would have been if he went to Dalton. Maybe he wouldn’t have met Kurt. Maybe he would have met Sam instead, although he isn’t sure if his romantic life would have changed. Sam looks like he’s got Typical Straight Dude written on his forehead.

“I guess so, I mean, we could have been,” he shrugs, trying not to let Sam see how thrilled he is. Though Sam looks way too naïve and ingenuous in his opinion.

“We can be now! Hey, we’re going to go to same installation, like, we’re going to be bros!” He says, smiling so hugely that he’s blinding Blaine.

Blaine though can’t help but frown for a moment, “Didn’t you say you were here with your friends?” He asks.

“Yeah, but they’re complete asshole,” Sam wrinkles his lips and sinks his head in the seat, looking up at the ceiling, “and none of them likes the kind of things I like; I’m kind of tired of having to get used to their hobbies.”

Blaine doesn’t even manage to get mad at the fact that he wants to change his hobbies instead, trying to make him like soccer.

“Why are you friends with assholes?” He asks instinctively, trying to stub down the voice that tells him that there’s a chance that he was dating an asshole; not because Kurt is actually that – Kurt is the most amazing person Blaine has ever met – but because he can’t ignore the fact that the possibility that Kurt cheated on him or fell in love with someone else while they were dating is real. 

No matter how much Kurt denies it, Blaine should stop trusting every word Kurt says blindly – it’s hard, so hard to stand when he’s always trusted him. This is completely new for him, not believing fully to every word Kurt says.

“I love them.” Sam says spontaneously, and he shows Blaine a weak smile. “I mean, I’ve loved them since we were kids. It’s hard now to stop loving them because they grew up like this.”

Blaine breathes in. He perfectly knows the feeling.

Maybe that is what changed between Kurt and him. They grew up and changed, but the reason why Blaine is stuck into this is that he can’t stop loving Kurt no matter what, just like Sam says he’s feeling with his friends. He feels some sympathy for him now. What if they feel the same way towards people? That would be particularly awkward for two guys who just met each other, wouldn’t it?

“Yeah, I kind of … understand.” He says, but as he does, he looks away from this wonderful boy, finally. He turns to stare out of the train instead, up to the sky, sighing in as he feels hurt again at the thought of Kurt. “I know the feeling.” He murmurs more to himself than to Sam, so lowly that he isn’t sure that Sam heard him actually.

“You do?” Sam asks though, making him startle.

When Blaine turns abruptly to look back at him, Sam is staring, his face wrinkled in an expression of curiosity and his eyebrows lifted. Blaine doesn’t know him well, but it seems to him that Sam is that kind of boy who’s spontaneously interested in everything. He isn’t annoyed at the idea of hearing Blaine’s story – which Blaine won’t tell anyway.

“Hmm, long story.” He says, shrugging lightly. “I really … don’t want to bore you with that. It’s already over so it wouldn’t make any sense to talk about it.”

Sam frowns awkwardly, looking like he doesn’t believe it. Blaine doesn’t believe it either though because he would really need to talk about it with someone. That someone can’t be a person he doesn’t know though. Kurt is – maybe was (which is painful) – an intimate part of his existence and he isn’t ready to share it with people who don’t know him at all.

“What? I’m serious.” He asks then, making sure he shows Sam a smile as he sinks into his seat a little. “Talking about something which is clearly over is just a waste of time, isn’t it?” He asks, shrugging and lifting his triangular eyebrows.

Sam seems doubtful again (and Blaine wonders for a moment how he can be that interested into a stranger’s life), but then he smiles brightly, his huge mouth spreading easily over the features of his face. 

“I don’t want to stab my dagger into your opens wounds,” He jokes and yawns, “it must have been a bad break-up I guess? Like, I totally understand you, dude, girls can be complicated!” He says and for moment Blaine just burst into a spontaneous laugh, before he suddenly realizes. 

He didn’t say it.

Blaine didn’t say he was gay and the boy sitting now beside him didn’t suppose it. He doesn’t know if it’s the bowtie, the way he stiffens when someone tickles him, the way he sings or moves, but people always assumed he was gay, like, almost at first sight. Maybe if he wore the Dalton blazer instead of going to McKinley, it would have been different. But he didn’t wear it.

He isn’t used to people assuming that he is straight, and he doesn’t know what he should say now. Coming out isn’t the best way to become best friend with a boy you’re probably going to see all sweated all day, right? And Blaine really wants to be friends with him.

“Hmm,” he licks his lower lip, stiffen uncomfortably in his seat.

It’s not that Blaine isn’t out and proud about his sexuality, but – may that be childish of him – he really wants this guy to like him. There’s a part of him that already knows that he hasn’t any chance to make Sam like him romantically (with all this ‘dude’ and ‘I know about girls’ speech especially), so at least he wants to be liked as a person. Rationally, he knows that a person’s niceness doesn’t depend on sexuality, but, emotionally, he is a little scared at the eventuality of things getting awkward.

“What?” Sam asks, frowning when he notices the look on his face. Their eyes meet again and Blaine is more and more convinced that this boy is spontaneously generous to anybody. A hero, he would say. “I’m sorry, did I say something wrong? Because if I did, dude, I swear I didn’t mean it, sometimes I just say things and I don’t even realize-”

“No!” Blaine says, spreading his eyes and looking surprised. “No, you didn’t, I … I’m just a lot tired from the travel, you know, these are sleepy faces …”

Sam hesitates for a moment like he doesn’t want to believe him that easily. Eventually though, he just sighs and sinks more into the seat, rolling his eyes to the ceiling and yawning a moment later.

“Do you mind if I get some sleep?” He murmurs, turning pleading eyes to Blaine. In fact, it’s the reason why this angel sat beside him in the first place. “I need to rest for a while, either way I won’t survive the first day of training …”

“Oh, don’t worry about it, of course,” Blaine whispers softly and he shows him a smile.

For now, he’s just happy that they’re dropping the conversation, because this allows him not to think too much about whether he should put a label on himself already or not. Sam smiles back and his mouth looks so full and amazing that it’s hard not to get lost into its perfection. When the boy closes his eyes and Blaine can’t look into his green irises anymore, he sighs silently and goes back to the different views they’re travelling through.

It doesn’t take long before he gets once again lost in his thoughts.

With Sam’s slow and silent breathing filling his ears, Blaine is thinking about Kurt again. He knows he’s being obsessive about it, but how exactly does one stop thinking about the boy he dated for the last two years all of a sudden? Everything he thinks of, even if it’s not Kurt related, ends up reminding him of Kurt anyway. Every lawn, every field, every rock along the street; every single thing seems just something Kurt and Blaine won’t even have the possibility to share because it’s over.

Over is a word that Blaine would have never applied to their case. He always thought KurtAndBlaine meant Eternity and the fact that Kurt could consider living his Eternity with someone else – someone who isn’t Blaine, someone who could be the guy that Blaine didn’t want to check on in the fast food – makes something ache uncomfortably and painfully inside him.

He turns to Sam again, feeling like staring at the road won’t make it any better.

When he finds himself staring at the face of the boy sitting beside him, he is somehow relieved to realize that it’s working.

This is logical if he thinks about it.

If anything reminds him of Kurt, he wouldn’t say the same of another boy.

In Blaine’s opinion it’s always been pretty clear that no other boy compared to Kurt. This is what allows him to be capable of looking at people without connecting them to his ex-boyfriend. Plus, he’s not sure he wants to connect anyone to him after knowing there’s actually another person in Kurt’s life.

So, instead, he tries to picture this.

He knows it’s dangerous and might be hurtful for the way the situation is brand new and probably impossible, but Blaine allows himself to imagine.

He lets himself think about how it would feel to just lean in and kiss this boy, lets himself imagine how different it would be in bed. Not because sex is the main thing, but because he wants to consider Coop’s perspective for a moment. What if he managed to get into this gorgeous boy’s pants, sneaking out of his bed at the night at the installation to get into Sam’s own and just loose up a little with something new and more careless, something that won’t involve dangerous feelings already?

It’s a light thought, allowing himself some free fun, but yet again, he isn’t sure he can put this nice fantasy into practice. He can’t help but think that it’s somehow wrong. Except for the fact that what he is seeing in his head isn’t bad at all. From what he can see over the t-shirt, Sam’s body is well-built. He can notice his muscles from a distance, his big shoulders and even the way the soft and thin material of the shirt clenches around his probably too well-defined abs. It’s not that hard to picture Sam naked – as embarrassing as it is to do it when they’ve just met and Sam is sleeping beside him.

With all the porn he’s been devoted to through his puberty, he can easily imagine himself under a gorgeous pale body, sweating at the touch, whimpering at the thrusts, so amazingly covered, more than he’d actually been with … no, he’s falling into it again. No comparisons. 

When the fantasy turns alive again in his head and he feels a slight twitch between his thighs, he shakes his head and looks away from Sam, suddenly feeling like a creep. He tries to fight his excitement. 

It takes him several moments, but he manages to do so.

He just needs to calm down and turn off his head. Maybe if he falls asleep too, he’ll stop thinking. Rationally, he knows that there’s a chance that he might start dreaming about Kurt instead, but he wants to give it a try no matter what. He pulls his hand in his pocket, searching for his iPhone and the headphones. In a few seconds, he’s already scrolling over the playlists on his phone, ignoring the one he titled Just Love, but not having the strength necessary to erase it yet.

Instead, he chooses one of Coop’s playlists, the one he secretly creates on his phone occasionally. It’s more intimate and less romantic and though Blaine has no idea who half of the artists on it are, at least he can say it’s relaxing. When the music pumps a little louder in his head though he didn’t switch the volume, Blaine knows his tiredness is finally taking over. His head swings a little and he realizes he’s got his eyes closed already. He didn’t even notice the moment they fell shut. But at least he’s getting some rest, so he won’t complain.

After all, he had spent the last nights thinking rather than sleeping.

/

It’s one hard jolt of the train that makes him startle in his sleep later, though he has no idea how long it’s been since he fell asleep. 

His eyes are still closed though and he’s sunk more in this seat so his head won’t swing and he won’t fall on the little table between the seats. He wrinkles his face unhappily, because he was finally getting some peaceful sleep, but then he realizes that even the playlist is over and only the sound of the train speeding is filling his ears. He can almost feel Sam’s quiet breathing beside him, or maybe it’s just fantasy (the sound isn’t loud enough for him to hear it when he still has his headphones on). 

Before he can actually process that, he’s smiling at the thought of waking up to Sam sleeping beside him. He bites his lower lip in half-sleep state and then blinks his eyes, trying to open them. It takes him several moments to manage to do so, but eventually, he finds himself staring around the carriage of the train senselessly. 

When his gaze falls forward though, on the opposite seat, Blaine startles as he realizes that a pair of green eyes have been staring at him. And it’s not even Sam.

This guy – who isn’t hot as Sam, but looks at least as charming – is looking at him curiously, his fingers tapping on his chin and his gaze completely focused on Blaine, in an almost creepy way.

“You woke up,” he says, his thin lips tilting up into a smirk and Blaine blushes because he’s suddenly realizing that this guy has just seen him grin stupidly in his sleep. 

“Yeah, I … woke up.” He repeats stupidly as he lift his body from where it’s practically sprawled against the seat and his face is on fire. “Hmm, sorry about … I mean sorry if I did something embarrassing in my sleep, I just-”

“You’ve been more embarrassing while you were waking up actually.” The guy confirms immediately, shrugging lightly. Blaine has no idea what to do besides parting his lips in panic. “But I feel you, maybe you were having some hot dream.” The smirk widens and then, almost as if it is an excuse to distract the guy from the conversation, Blaine spits it out, before he can think of his own upcoming words.

“Are you … flirting?” He asks, just hesitating a little on the last word as it comes out.

The boy sniggers but he doesn’t seem annoyed. Luckily, because Blaine supposes he’s just almost outed himself. Maybe it’s just that he wants someone to flirt with him; or maybe this guy just smirks all the time and he just likes making people uncomfortable.

“Nah,” he says, spreading his body and sprawling himself in the seat opposite to Blaine’s, “I mean, don’t get me wrong, you’re like … super hot, but I’m taken.” He says wincing and swinging his head a little. “Boyfriends stuff and all that shit.”

Blaine frowns for a moment, because he’s pretty sure it wouldn’t make any sense to be in a relationship if that’s what he thinks about it. But it’s not of his business actually, so why bother. He’s just glad that he found some other gay guy.

“Oh okay, sorry. It’s just that you were staring at me.” He says instead, trying not to sound as smug as he might. “I mean, while I was sleeping even. It’s kinda creepy.”

The boy sniggers and he leans a hand across the small table between their seats.

“The name is Sebastian Smythe.” He says, winking a little obscenely. “I’m friends with the jerk who holed up beside you.” He nods towards Sam and Blaine understands it.

It makes sense. This must be one of Sam’s friends, the ones that he wasn’t talking too well about. Well, Blaine won’t judge too early though. He’s not that kind of person. So, instead, he just leans his hand and shakes the other boy’s.

“Blaine Anderson.” He says with a smile.

“I wouldn’t touch it if I were you,” Sam’s voice followed by yawn makes Blaine startle.

He turns abruptly to Sam right when this Sebastian guy is trailing his hand back and laughing at the joke. Blaine looks confused but then he just realizes the joke and he blushes. He has no idea why he blushes; maybe it’s because though he has been quite confidential about masturbation with himself, dealing with someone else’s self-pleasure is still somehow embarrassing. Especially if it’s a person he’s just met. It’s tough for him to enter such a private sphere as intimate sexuality with strangers.

“Aw, don’t be like that, Sammy.” Sebastian is saying, shrugging like there’s nothing wrong in the intimacy of Sam’s mention. “Pretty sure your hand is not that chaste either-”

“Shut up, dude.” Sam rolls his eyes and he turns to Blaine, smiling at him. “See? Like I told you. Total assholes and Sebastian is the king, like he rocks the crown of assholes.”

Sebastian sniggers, so Blaine guesses he doesn’t mind the joke. Instead, he focuses on the way Sam is grinning at him and he’s immediately smiling back. God, he’s pretty sure that someone could tell from a distance that he’s been struck by this gorgeous boy.

“Well, he’s … fun? I guess …” Blaine tires to say about Sebastian, maybe to gain some sympathies. He wants to have some friends so bad he must look desperate.

“Fun?” Sebastian jokes, but Blaine doesn’t manage to tear his eyes off of Sam. “That’s a word I love.”

“Sebastian is hardly fun.” Sam yawns, stretching in his seat and he’s looking at Blaine like Blaine was looking at him, intensely by still lightly somehow. “He can be quite annoying when he wants to.” He explains. “He’s also quite rude when he jokes and he has no respect for others.”

“It’s a pretty well-planned description.” Sebastian doesn’t complain, in fact he seems to agree. He’s awkward, Blaine thinks, he looks like the kind of person who knows he acts in a way that isn’t nice or gentle but that doesn’t seem to mind. “I mean I would have put the word ‘hot’ in the middle of it somewhere, but …”

“He can be quite annoying when he wants to be hot?” Sam teases and Sebastian yawns, stretching in his seat. When he doesn’t add anything, Sam turns to Blaine again and he shrugs. “I’m sorry if he made you uncomfortable. Now you get what I meant …”

“Yeah, I do.” Blaine answers quickly and he looks down to Sam’s lips once more. They’re too big not to be noticed and look too soft not to be tempting. “I mean, huh, not that I’m judging already, I don’t him yet, I-” He tries to make sense without looking like he’s already calling Sam’s friends assholes, but Sebastian cuts him.

“Oh get a room, guys.” He jokes, and Blaine turns to him as he licks his lower lip nervously, feeling himself blushing because he’s been caught.

“See? Rude.” Sam comments lightly and Blaine feels a little sappy about it.

He’s just met Sam, therefore he doesn’t know much about him as a person.

There’s a part of him that is happy that Sam is naïve enough not to understand that Sebastian is being allusive about the way Blaine stares at him (he’s aware of it, but he can’t hold it).

He’s also relieved that Sam isn’t mad about the gay joke (even though he isn’t sure Sam got it). A lot of guys from Ohio would freak out if someone implied they might be gay and Sam isn’t doing that. This is probably supposed to mean that Sam isn’t homophobic or even bothered at the topic, which is cool. Sam seemed like a cool guy already, but considering the common mentality, Blaine is sure that there was a chance that he might treat him differently if he knew; but now he sees him interacting with Sebastian, who is a lot gay and a lot out, and they’re friends. It should be quite a good proof. 

And then there’s another part of him who isn’t that glad that Sam didn’t get the joke, for some reason he can’t seem to explain to himself.

He knows that if Sam realized the way Blaine has been staring, it would be embarrassing; knows that maybe he wouldn’t even manage to look at Sam in the face again. And yet, there’s a stupid part of him, a ridiculously stupid part of him, that wanted him to get it, to notice the way he stares at his mouth, his eyes, his face. This is probably what happens after you feel abandoned and wrecked as the boy you thought he was the man of your life breaks up with you all of a sudden, without even giving you a good reason for that.

Desperation is the word that describes him better now. Blaine is desperate for attention. He wants someone to cuddle him and whisper soft words in his ear; which is why he doesn’t believe Coop’s just sex strategy is going to work with him. 

“Blaine?” 

Sam’s voice makes him come back to reality as he realizes that he has been distracted from his thoughts, so much that he wasn’t even staring at his mouth as strange as it sounds.

“What?” Blaine makes his gaze move between Sam and Sebastian. “I’m sorry, I, huh … kind of … I was overthinking.”

“He was imagining you fucking his surely gorgeous ass right here, Sam.” Sebastian says easily and when Blaine turns to him in shock, his lips parted, but the boy just looks like it’s a usual conversation to him. “What?” He asks at Blaine’s surprised look.

“Sebster, shut up.” Sam growls unhappily. “You don’t even know if he likes boys, dude, and that’s really gross. Even if I had a boyfriend as cute as he is I would never be that rough or so little intimate. We’re on a train, jeez.”

Blaine can’t help the little smile that pops on his face and the words. He turns a little to Sam and stares at his profile while Sam is wearing a serious expression. He loves the fact that he would be apprehensive and loves also that he thinks Blaine is cute. He shouldn’t be so stupidly happy at the words, shouldn’t even let a stranger get under his skin the way Sam is quickly doing in the blink of an eye.

When he realizes that Sebastian is still there too, Blaine turns to him in panic, hoping that he hasn’t noticed. Of course he would notice though. And yet, this time he doesn’t say anything. That is weird, but Blaine doesn’t wonder too much about it. Instead, he just takes the chance to avoid the topic and not get even more embarrassed.

“So are you coming to Texas too, Sebastian?” He asks and for a moment Sebastian gives him a face that screams Seriously?. He swallows and tries to look pleading in his eyes, so that Sebastian won’t press on the pedal and make Sam notice how obscenely he was drooling over him.

Sebastian seems to have some pity, because he just says, “I am. It’s going to be a good training before college and a sweaty way to keep my good shape on during summer.”

“Ugh,” Sam laughs and Blaine turns to look at him, “Sebastian just means that it’s a way to keep it in his pants.” He explains, looking back at Blaine. “He isn’t used to do so.”

“Shut. Up.” Sebastian complains but Blaine is obviously completely focused on Sam.

“I don’t get it.” He answers, Cooper’s words sounding in his head. “How can he think that a summer spent with sweated men training and sleeping together might be a good way to keep it in his pants?”

Sam is about to explain when Sebastian speaks again, getting Blaine’s attention.

“My family has kind of a military tradition.” Sebastian groans, apparently a little annoyed at the thought. “I can’t even imagine what my dad would do to me if something like that came out. It took him a lot to deal with my sexuality, so I can’t even imagine what he would put me through if he ever found out about me being the whore of the army.”

Blaine wonders just for a moment about what Cooper told him, that no one would found out. It makes him wince and he’s not sure anymore. Well, to be honest, it’s not like he actually believes anything Cooper says, but he sounded so sure of it …

“Do … do they know you’re gay?” He asks then, looking up into Sebastian’s eyes and he’s pretty sure that if Sam’s naïveté doesn’t allow him to get it, Sebastian will know for sure that he’s gay by now. If he notices though, he doesn’t say anything about it.

“Of course not.” He says, wincing. “You know what the policy about gay men and women in the army is and before I could get any information about how it works for temporary trainings, my dad said it would have been better if I just didn’t express my sexuality.”

Well, it’s exactly what Blaine did, but he isn’t sure about how guys manage to fuck around like Cooper said in such an environment. He lets it go and asks more about Sebastian instead. Although he would want to know more about Sam, he doesn’t want to ask too much, while they’re already talking about Sebastian, so it’s not like he’s gossiping.

“You’re here so that you wouldn’t cheat on your boyfriend because you’re not used to exclusive relationships?” He tries to make a point of what he’s understood.

“Basically.” Sebastian shrugs, like it’s the most logical thing in the world. “I would love spending my time talking to you about my private stuff, but I guess I don’t feel comfortable with being a third wheel,” he lifts his eyebrows allusively towards Sam, and Blaine blushes a little, “so I’ll just go and sit with the others. Have fun.” He smiles at Blaine and turns a wink to Sam before he stands up and walks away.

Blaine barely had the time to realize that he was going before Sebastian disappears from his sight; which is good anyway, because he was making Blaine uncomfortable.

“I’m so sorry.” Sam says and he turns to him with an apologetic look. “I wasn’t joking when I told you my friends are asshole and Sebastian is the worst. He just makes people so uncomfortable that I sympathize for them. I wonder what he’s gone through in his life to be this … I wouldn’t say sick – because it’s mean and I love him – but the term suits the case well.” 

“Don’t you know?” Blaine asks immediately, frowning. “I mean, don’t you know what he’s gone through his life? I thought you said your friends, like, several times.”

“We don’t talk too much about family stuff, not just with Sebastian, but also with the rest of the guys.” Sam says, sighing. Somehow Blaine feels like he doesn’t like it, like he would want some friends to talk to when it comes to intimate stuff. “We made a deal that we wouldn’t because we thought that personal issues made it tough for us to enjoy the time we spent together. You know, it’s more of the kind of things girls do, I guess …”

Blaine doesn’t know what he is supposed to do exactly. Should he offer his help? Of course he would naturally, he just loves helping people and it’s always his instinctive reaction; but right now, he really likes this guy. He doesn’t know if there’s even a way Sam might like him back, and he doesn’t know if he likes him as a person only because he got an enormous and ridiculous first-sight crush, but he feels sorry for the sad look on Sam’s face.

While he realizes that talking about his private issues when they haven’t known each other for five hours even, Blaine thinks that this can’t be the only possible way to cheer this boy up, so he lets his lips pop up into a smile.

“Hmm, how about you teach me something about soccer?” He asks and when Sam turns to him this time, his face is suddenly bright, so much that his smile almost blinds Blaine – it also makes him clench at the unbelievable beauty of this boy, of course.

“Only if you swear that you will be capable of telling me the lineup of three major clubs in Europe at least by the time we’re arriving.” He suggests and Blaine laughs. “Deal?”

He hesitates for a moment, barely knowing how many players there are in a soccer team, before he whispers back, “Deal.”


End file.
